Movie Eleven: X-Men Origins - Wolverine

OR: That's a few hours i'm not getting back.

Well, that's a bit harsh actually. I liked it.  It was a bit stupid, and a bit too much of a Rom-Com-ish thing, which, well, might be straight out of the comics, but i am feeling too lazy to look up right now - but it really wasn't as bad as i'd been prepared for.  Yes, trash. No, not the worst trash I have ever seen. 

Actually, now I'm curious to know if Wolverine's back story is actually that stupid.  

Elapse time.

I forget how intricate wikipedia entries about pop culture can be.  In this instance, I was unable to establish if, in the film, the story of how he chose the name 'Wolverine' is the same as the comics.  I don't know why the romantic sub-plots tend to irritate me so much, at the moment, but they do.  Gender, again.  In particular, again, the Needing Men to lead the female characters out. Diamond Woman needed Wolverine? I very much doubt this.  Again, with the females (even mutated ones) needing the saving from the males, by the males, of both sides. Again, with male power, female disempowerment, and the empathy placed with the man, who is strong for her, and fights for her, but oh, is she strong enough...? Kerpow.

 The aesthetics of using Five Mile Island pleased me - i really like the way nuclear reactors (or is it the cooling towers?) look.  The cement, the shape, the curves, the brutalist architectural elements - are an aesthetic i like. Pity about nuclear power though.  


Gambit: how great is he?

I Might mean by this 'how attractive is this guy, wow, i think he is almost as attractive than the not-existing Skinny Steve from Captain America who, by the way, really, seriously looks like Ian-my-internet-crush' OR i might mean that it's a terrible shame that an interesting complex, and fan-loved character had been pushed out of all of the movies.  I like Wolverine, but seriously, i think most of us would have preferred some character development over Shirtless Men.  He's also wearing a nice coat here.   


I'm tired and not very good at life this week, so sorry about the shit write up - at least it's a shit write-up of a shit movie.  


I'm thinking of watching either: Kick-Ass or the 2008 version of The Incredible Hulk. OR something... ELSE.  requests taken.

Spiderman 3 - Shit-tastic

Movie: Spiderman 3

Watched: In Bed

Date: 10 August

Review.

This is the thing i hated most about this movie:

Tobey Maguire's stupid face.  Not that his face is, in and of itself stupid: i find him far more attractive than the beefcake type actors (please don't start me on Ryan Reynolds before The Green Lantern) but he constantly pulls That Face.  Someone's in danger? The Stupid Face.  He's happy? The Stupid Face.  He's sad because his oldest friend is dying? The Stupid Face.   I wished by the end of the film that I had within me say, the superpowers of Storm, so I could electrocute the fuck out of him every time he pulled that Stupid  Goddamn Face.

As well.  Bad Spiderman/Peter is most clearly symbolised with slightly different hair, and black clothing. Good Spiderman/Peter has neater hair, and BLUE AND RED uniform.  This was just me reading too much into it, until the great bit when Spiderman Flies VICTORIOUSLY before the American Flag.    The use as 'ugly' as a marker of evil, or the constant use of 'blackness' as a marker of evil makes me uncomfortable. 

Peter and Mary Jane:  What is With This?  I know, the Hollywood invention of Love is stupid.  But these people have no common ground. Do we even see one conversation which shows any sort of connection between the two of them? I honest to god detest the way relationships are modeled in mass media.  That out there, there is a one true love, which once you have found, you become a new human being.  The idea that the one we love helps us be better people is never the point, nor is the fact that you probably want to connect on some level with this person. Nope.  You will just willingly sacrifice everything for the idea of Love.

This is across all of these movies: sacrifice and LOVE.  The love is occasionally complex and interesting, based on what seems to be relationships shared between people who genuinely have an intimacy, a shared life, growing together and trying to work as two individuals to build a life.  But then, you have The Romantic Lead who's often nothing better than an aesthetically pleasing woman who needs saving, over and over again. 

At least X-Men breaks from that (even if the film shits on the fact that Jane could have blown them all up without another care) but even then, it's a man who saves Jane from herself. Clearly, she's incapable still of her own decisions, abilities, direction and faculties and needs a Big Muscular Aesthetically Pleasing Man to fight for her and make her do the right thing. Heaven forbid a woman make up her own mind!

The storyline was also erratic and irritating, and the characters were extraordinarily thin.

It was probably the first movie I've felt irritated enough during to almost not want to finish it, but I think that's more because I'm sick at the moment. 

Movie Two: X-Men (from 2000. the first one)

Film: X-Men

Date seen: 3 August, 2011

Location: In Bed

Beverages: none 

Companionship: apart from briefly discussing the fact that Patrick Stewart was in it (i did not know, and i got excited) with the guy in Arizona i have a spectacularly gratuitous crush on - none.  Dom was out drinking with her father.  

Rating: 7 out of 10. 


The Review (of sorts)


It's a dour week in the Reform School For Girls (which is the code name for our apartment.)  Both Dom and I have distant parents visiting, which is not ... ideal.  I had to see my psychiatrist, who was customarily useless.  (he asked me if i read, because i mentioned i found canberra boring. then he complimented my glasses. it felt like he was trying to flirt with me, and i felt very uncomfortable).  Generally, I went into this one feeling Very Fucking Shit.


However. Patrick. motherfucking. Stewart.  Seriously. His voice is so soothing.  He knows things, people. I bet Patrick Stewart can read minds.  


I'd seen X-Men: First Class in the cinema, mostly because Lachlan wanted to, and I'm fairly easily led.  So this gave me some idea of context.    I was pleased that the pleasing young Professor Xavier grew up to be Patrick Stewart.  Even if these movies came before.  


I liked that people flew!  I liked that once again, the bully verses the world, self-preservation as the only way violence can be done, because it's Righteous Violence, but oh well, there are baddies who attack us so we can show off our exceptional skills with flying and blowing shit up, and moving metal and magical healing shit.  I also like that they all have different powers. 


Anything with hidden walls in it also thrills me in a really childlike way. i never get sick of seeing how the different movies all have different sorts of hidden walls/doors/corridors.  


Wolverine has long sharp THINGS that fly out of him. That is also pretty rad.  


Gender in X-Men is less fucked up than in Captain America. And i know - Captain America was being true to the time, and contextually, that is how women are portrayed.  One thing that i think is interesting to note in terms of how the bodies are represented is that the male form is as much exploited and lifted on high - firm muscular male bodies.  But it's done for very different reasons.  It's not to be eye-catching, or seductive, but it's more of a fact of life that a successful young man must be physiologically fit.  It's early days, here, kids, but the bare-chested Wolverine introduced an interesting question of the role of the male gaze on the male.  I think that's important - as important as the question of the male gaze on the females.


Now. i feel pretty subnormal tonight, so i'm pondering Being Hardcore and watching the next one.  i also got about 15 rows done on my hat.  

Movie One: Captain America!

 

Film: Captain America

Date seen: 1 August, 2011

Location: Dendy Canberra (cinema 1, which is obviously the superior cinema)

Beverages: 1x Coopers 

Companionship: Lachlan (albeit somewhat reluctant. he only agreed because he's nice, and misses his girlfriend who's in Melbourne).

Rating: 8 out of 10.   

Female Characters: (Peggy Carter) One token woman, who is more noticeable as a potential love interest than as a strong woman - though she does shoot people at one point.  Her Huge Cans & Red Lips were also noteworthy, and perhaps were actually as integral to the plot as the other functions of her character.  I'm still getting a hand on the representations of women and gender in comic books, and the use of Breasts as a plot device, though titillating to my not-so-inner pervert, strikes me as a bit off.  

Male Lead: (Steve Rogers - ie, CAPTAIN AMERICA!)  I wanted him to dirty dirty things to me, but only before he got turned into SUPERHERO STRONG MAN.  When he was a skinny white boy who took a pile of novels to the training centre after being enlisted, he was pretty much my idea of sex, come to life in an easily digestible, morally upright form.  I was shocked and ashamed to discover the following:

The Sad Truth About The Guy Who Played Steve Rogers 

General Thoughts (I'm reluctant to call this a review):

I loved it. There was no knitting involved, though - I can't knit in the cinema, because knitting in the dark is not advisable when you are doing cables.  One thing that I've noticed just through the movies I've seen so far is the absence of guns. Not in the film - but in use by the Superhero/s. They rarely use guns, and if they do, it's minimal, or because there is No Other Way they would escape the situation. It's all hand-to-hand, or using SUPERPOWERS and not the gun, and it appears that they disarm or knock people out more than they kill them.  Given the role of guns in a lot of action movies, it's an interesting theme - even more so with the American Thing of a right to bear arms.

Also - the theme of the Bully As The True Enemy is interesting.   Of course pre-Captain America Steve was bullied - he was skinny, he stood up for himself, he turned the other cheek, he Took It Like A Man.  Seriously, if you are getting that much head injury, you are going to end up with brain damage. I've got brain damage from being hit in the head with a soccer ball.*  Maybe brain damage explains it. Anyhow.  He's bullied. Bad Guys are not Bad because of their race, or class, or gender - it's about being bullies. That's why they are bad, and that's what Steve/Captain America wants to defeat.  He wants peace.  He is gentle, compassionate, and intelligent.  I bet he likes cat macros.  etc.  

I really like WWII - not in a 'yay war!' way, but intellectually, I find the interwar period, and the lead up to WWII very interesting. I like movies with Bad Nazis and Butt-Kicking.   I like this even more when it's fictionalised, and great exciting things are added, like the episode of Doctor Who where the Daleks become Winston Churchill's Secret Weapon.  So, the whole 'Nazis are evil, we are good and need to destroy Nazis because not only are they evil, but they are BULLIES' is really appealing to me.  It's likely this has been borne of playing too much Wolfenstein 3D at an impressionable age. (Do I even need to add how shit i was at it?  I found tetris, and never looked back).

I know it's obvious and somewhat heavy handed (alright. lead handed) but I find it heartening to see them representing heroes as those who are strong of heart, and not just of body.  Of course, they need to have their body match their heart, which is slightly dubious. i like the idea of Steve being Captain America while remaining twiggish and sexy, rather than becoming a hideous, hulk-like monstrosity of muscle and flesh and jaw.  That's very superficial of me, I know. Sorry.

Also, I'm just not even touching the issue of Historical Accuracy In Regards to America's Involvement in WWII, because I willfully ignored it. Only once did I yelp in the process of the film,

'But, America's war efforts were focused in the Pacific...' 

It's interesting.  Using Nazis as enemies is much easier than using the Japanese.  You don't have the nasty racial overtones when you are fighting other white people.

All In All? Righteously entertained. 

*Seriously, kids, if you get hit in the head a lot as a teenager, you can end up with Epilepsy.  Some people just need to wear a helmet all the time if there are balls around, or get really creative about avoiding soccer.  Failure to do so ends Really Badly.