RETURNING

some time on, to a land where i do things other than watch movies all day.

however, i remembered how much fun it was writing about superhero movies, and i realised i forgot to discuss, in depth, my theory that Captain America is a projection of how America Views Itself, and how Tony Stark is a libertarian god-figure, against the government! (nb. i don't know a lot about libertarianism because it seems really dumb. before writing the afformentioned post up, i'll get all skilled up with the wikipedia article and shit).

i also hated the most recent Batman film, and need to talk about how sad that made me feel -and i'm about to watch the rebooted Spiderman.

not to mention that motherfucking SUPERMAN comes out this year - i watched The Adventures of Lois and Clark as a kid, occasionally - i was friends with a girl in primary school who has really intense feelings for Dean.. someone? that dude who played Clark, anyhow.  it was creepy in retrospect.

anyhow.
MOAR LATER.

Spiderman 3 - Shit-tastic

Movie: Spiderman 3

Watched: In Bed

Date: 10 August

Review.

This is the thing i hated most about this movie:

Tobey Maguire's stupid face.  Not that his face is, in and of itself stupid: i find him far more attractive than the beefcake type actors (please don't start me on Ryan Reynolds before The Green Lantern) but he constantly pulls That Face.  Someone's in danger? The Stupid Face.  He's happy? The Stupid Face.  He's sad because his oldest friend is dying? The Stupid Face.   I wished by the end of the film that I had within me say, the superpowers of Storm, so I could electrocute the fuck out of him every time he pulled that Stupid  Goddamn Face.

As well.  Bad Spiderman/Peter is most clearly symbolised with slightly different hair, and black clothing. Good Spiderman/Peter has neater hair, and BLUE AND RED uniform.  This was just me reading too much into it, until the great bit when Spiderman Flies VICTORIOUSLY before the American Flag.    The use as 'ugly' as a marker of evil, or the constant use of 'blackness' as a marker of evil makes me uncomfortable. 

Peter and Mary Jane:  What is With This?  I know, the Hollywood invention of Love is stupid.  But these people have no common ground. Do we even see one conversation which shows any sort of connection between the two of them? I honest to god detest the way relationships are modeled in mass media.  That out there, there is a one true love, which once you have found, you become a new human being.  The idea that the one we love helps us be better people is never the point, nor is the fact that you probably want to connect on some level with this person. Nope.  You will just willingly sacrifice everything for the idea of Love.

This is across all of these movies: sacrifice and LOVE.  The love is occasionally complex and interesting, based on what seems to be relationships shared between people who genuinely have an intimacy, a shared life, growing together and trying to work as two individuals to build a life.  But then, you have The Romantic Lead who's often nothing better than an aesthetically pleasing woman who needs saving, over and over again. 

At least X-Men breaks from that (even if the film shits on the fact that Jane could have blown them all up without another care) but even then, it's a man who saves Jane from herself. Clearly, she's incapable still of her own decisions, abilities, direction and faculties and needs a Big Muscular Aesthetically Pleasing Man to fight for her and make her do the right thing. Heaven forbid a woman make up her own mind!

The storyline was also erratic and irritating, and the characters were extraordinarily thin.

It was probably the first movie I've felt irritated enough during to almost not want to finish it, but I think that's more because I'm sick at the moment. 

Spiderman - 1 & 2

Movies: Spiderman 1 & 2

Watched: 8th and 9th of August

Location: In Bed

Review (of sorts):

Ok. The most notable thing here is the cheesey dialogue.  Really?  Really script writers? Can you not do better than this?

"You've spun your last web, Spider-Man."

"[voiceover] Whatever life holds in store for me, I will never forget these words: "With great power comes great responsibility." This is my gift, my curse. Who am I? I'm Spider-man."

Two, of Far too many examples to name.

Perhaps it was just the substandard acting.

However.  Spiderman is particularly great. The scenes where he swoops around NYC are stunning - the movement, the leaping - it's particularly well done.  The villains were particularly... how do i say... comic-book like.  They were less scary, and more laughable.  The torment of spiderman moves between pathos and then more towards bathos really damn fast - so much sadness, while Peter Parker sits there with a slightly dumb grin the whole time. 

Genderwise? These two movies were a whole new realm of awful.  Mary-Jane had nothing even vaguely resembling autonomy.  What does she do? Get In Trouble! What does Spiderman do? Save Her.

Not to mention the other main stars: Mary-Jane's Wet-shirted Breasts.

Go Mary-Jane. She's an actress. She's a model.  All she can really do is scream often and get endangered and display nipples through wet thin clothing.  Surely she could have been given a bit of spunk- one circumstance in which she had at least an inch of power?  Surely there was more in her life than staring out, out into the audience waiting for Peter to be In Love With Her and go to her play.  You know what, people? Being in LOVE with someone isn't going to solve all your problems, or that there is only one True Love for you, or that being in Love with someone can excuse them being an arsehat to you.  It's not the ultimate aim of human existence worthy of sacrificing all of your dreams and plans. For example,  Peter's decision to choose using his powers over his BIG LOVE for Mary-Jane.   But Mary-Jane has no real character outside of when she realises she love Peter, and then her halfhearted relationship with a guy who, you know, would Do The Job.

Side Note:  i love it how she's his best friend, apparently, yet in neither of the two films is their friendship highlighted. When do they develop this? it seems that he quietly moped about her in high school, then all of a sudden, she is His Best Friend.   I'm guessing this is explained in the comic, but the film did a really bad job of illustrating this. 

Perhaps i'm just bitter and jaded.